Walking downstairs, to get my first cup of coffee for the day, wearing my worn out pink bathrobe, with two dogs at my feet, and no- I can’t blame the dogs this time, although I was groggier than normal because of a crazy dream about DANCE teachers that were taking advantage of my kids…( THERE’S a shock??) but I got to the last step, and missed it! I went flying! All kids, dogs and husband were there as I lay in a heap!
My first reaction aside from the pain, was- “who’s going to laugh at me FIRST?” Miraculously, NO ONE did. To me, at that moment, that was NOT a good sign, because it meant that it had looked VERY serious as I went BOOM! My husband got on the floor beside me as I pounded my fist on the ground to stop the pain, and asked, “What do you need??” Without missing a beat I said, “ICE!” Get me Two bags of Frozen Vegetables, NOW!”
So out came the frozen green beans and corn, one for the top of my foot and one for the ankle, and I pushed hard on those bags, and willed everyone away from me. It was a battle to stop the dogs from trying to eat the veggies, but eventually they gave up.
I had a bit of a problem walking that day, flat footed- but I found that I could walk easily in my wedge heels! That worked out well, considering I had a meeting to attend, and I looked semi-normal in my dress with wedge shoes! Now THAT’S what I call being ‘creative!’ Veggies and wedgies!
As it turned out, I got the job that I was fully prepared to Not Like, and the interviewer that surprised me with this turn of events, never even knew I was wobbling! “I’m good, oh yeah…I’m good…”
Flash forward two days later: I’m in my office working, and my 17 year old comes in, looks down at my foot and says, “OH- my GOD- R U KIDDING me.” My response of course was, “What.” It was the first time in my life or hers, for that matter, that I took her THAT seriously, when she said, “GO GET AN XRAY!” I tried to explain that it looked worse than it was, and if I could wear WEDGIES… I must be fine! She looked at me with MY face, and I knew at that moment, I’d lost the battle- not the war… just the battle.
My husband walked in at that moment and said, as he stared at the two of us looking at each other, …”What.” She said, “Look at Mom’s FOOT!” He looked, wiped his glasses, looked again, and said, “Wait, isn’t that just a ‘suntan?’ ” She said, “DAD- it’s CHARCOAL GREY! NOT a TAN!”
Five minutes later they had me in the car going for an xray. Of course I complained the whole way, and had to show them how I could still walk like a model with my wedges on?
We get there. Never been to ‘Urgent Care’ before in my LIFE. Apparently no one ELSE had either, because we were the only ones THERE. The nurse took me in, fed me to the doctor, who then brought in the technician, who introduced me to his ‘newbie,’ and explained that he was training her. She then volunteered that she’s a fully licensed and qualified Xray technician, but that she was just learning THEIR machinery.
They started the series of xrays. He would explain things to her, they’d tell me to stay still, they’d leave, and I heard him make this sound like, “Ugh!” I thought, OMG- maybe there really IS something wrong! They came back in, repositioned my foot, uttered the ‘stay still’ words again, left, snapped the picture, and I heard the same thing, “UGH!” I was about to ask, “WTF?”… but remembered I was now in the Carolinas, and that wouldn’t go over as well as if I was in NY, and then after the 5th or 6th shot, heard him repetatively doing it again! That’s when I realized it was either Turrets or a nervous tick! Oye. Thank GOD I kept my mouth shut! She was a bit heavy, …it’s lucky I didn’t ask her when her due date was, for that matter!
After all the pictures were done, and I’m still laying there on the table, she says to me, while looking at my foot, “is your foot swollen?”
I looked at her like she had TWO HEADS. 10 xrays, and she asks me this question… I said, “No… I lost weight in the other leg, and it’s got me quite concerned.”
Just a reminder of where I am, at times… although, in NY, they probably would have said the same thing, just in a different way, like, “WTF did you do to your foot?” See? I’m adjusting quite well!
No broken bones, but they put an ace bandage and something they called an ‘air cast’ on. She insisted I could wear both with my shoes. It was the size of a horses hoof- but still, she said, ‘slide it right inside your sneaker when you get home!’ I didn’t have the patience for a debate, so I put on my wedge shoe- which surprised her when it couldn’t be buckled, but instead of arguing, I did ‘the Slide’ out of the office. One foot walked, and the bad foot slid.
I actually came home and tried to put a sneaker on…thinking the whole time, “They ALMOST had me going there…well, they DID have me going, if I was really attempting to put the shoe OVER this monstrosity!
I need to get this ‘sprain fixed quickly, because I go back to NYC in 8 days, and need my ‘transit feet’ by then. NO AIR CAST ALLOWED in NYC.
From now on I hold on to the railings wherever I go!
LOL Veggies & Wedgies…I think you’re on to something! I love how you have to keep reminding yourself that you’re in NC. Behave!
are you kidding me?? I ‘dissed’ NYC! I LOVE it here! I’ve learned to ‘THINK before I Blast someone!’ LOL!
My cousin in the Carolinas,I sure hope you are feeling better! See, one cannot make this stuff up and the way you describe it in words, would certainly make for great radio…Swollen feet and all…Refuah Shleima!!! Feel better!
I keep saying it- “when I grow up, I want to continue to be Immature.”
you’re on your way. 🙂