Today my Daughter turned 17, and SALT became an issue.

She seems to be maturing at a faster rate, than I am.  In fact- at times I feel like I’m regressing!  Maybe eventually we’ll meet in the middle, …become equals? 

That was just my ‘poetic side’ coming out- like I’d EVER let her think we could be EQUALS? Ha!

For the last few days I’ve had a problem with tasting an unexplained ‘saltiness’ in my mouth. I’ve blamed it on the water- the heat- being tired- hell, I’ve even blamed it on the Dogs!  In fact I mentioned to my 3 girls that every time I walk by the dogs, they lick my legs!  Of course, that inspired all 3 girls to look at me with a BLANK stare, and say, “Yeah?”  I continued, “Well, I’ve been complaining about feeling like I’m sucking on salt tablets for the last three days, and the DOGS keep licking me… maybe they’re licking me for a REASON!  Maybe they taste SALT on me too!”  AGAIN- I get the BLANK stares.  “Yeah?”   I said, “I need one of you to lick the inside of my wrist, and tell me if I taste SALTY!”   BLANK stares Crumbled into, “Ewwww-MOM! Are you kidding us???” 

I turned to my almost 17 year old, her being the oldest, and said- “Lacey, I need HELP here!”  She said, “FORGET IT.”   I then went into my 14 year old’s room, knowing full well she overheard the whole conversation, and before I could say a WORD, she said, “ASK CASSIDY.”  I stood there thinking, “I could be dieing from a salt overdose (as if there IS such a thing) and my kids don’t care!”

I walked into Cassidy’s room with my wrist up in the air, and she rolled her eyes at me and said, “MOM! Please don’t make me!”  I just stood there in one place, tasting the salt inside my cheeks and LOOKED at her. She finally broke, and motioned for me to come closer and she stuck out her tongue and tasted the inside of my wrist! 

I looked Very closely at her expression and watched her face melt into a HUGE “That’s DisGUSTING” face.  I said, “what do you mean? Am I salty??”  She replied, “YES!!!” 

Well, of course the next thing that happened was the 14 year old overheard, and now SHE had to taste for herself, which then spurred the almost 17 year old to do the same.  God FORBID ONE should know something that the others’ do not.

Finally!  I felt like something made SENSE. I was one big Salt ball!  Now I knew that the dogs weren’t licking me just cause they LOVED me- and at dinner we need not ever worry if we’re short on condiments because we can rub my arm and salt an entire platoon!

I Always look at the glass as ‘half full.’  Just don’t ask me to gargle with Salt water.