Yes, I approached him with trepidation, I mean… this IS his busy season! I had questions that had been bothering me for Years, so I forged ahead. Here’s a list of things I asked of him. The LAST one on the list, you can hear his repsonse by clicking that little audio thingy at the end!
1. WHY do you wear Red Velvet? I don’t know ANY MAN ALIVE, that would have chosen Red Velvet.
He said, “If YOU were flying up there in ‘nose bleed’ space, wouldn’t YOU want to wear something that would help you avoid getting hit by ET or the like there of, while keeping you warm at the same time? RED STANDS OUT, and Velvet is just, …well… snuggly warm.”
2. Why did you let the other reindeer make fun of Rudolph, way back in the beginning?
He answered, ” I gave them enough rope to hang themselves with. When it got bad- I made Rudolph the leader of the pack so that they’d all learn a valuable life lesson, in what NOT to do in the future. NO BULLYING ALLOWED. In fact, I have Zero Tolerance for it, and as a result of Rudolph’s previous situation, many parents and children around the world have learned from that lesson. That’s what it’s all about for me. You know, …my ‘naught or nice’ routine?”
3. How do you NOT get LOST!!!
He said, “I’ve always depended on Rudolph’s sense of smell.”
4. How do you help the children who come from parents that don’t believe in you?
Santa said, “It’s obvious to me, that these parents must have had a traumatic incident in their Own childhood, in order for them to not believe in me, so I kiss them on the cheek, Christmas Eve while they’re sleeping, because I don’t have room in my life for ‘grudge holding,’ and then I go and slip a present for each of the famiy members under their tree. No one EVER questions the mysterious gifts, because the Parents feel a bit shaken by it, but they can’t let the KIDS know this, so I plant that seed of doubt! It’s actually my favorite part of the season! Ho Ho Ho!!!”
5. Ok Kris- here’s the big one: HOW do you FIT down the Chimney??
His answer? “A Magician NEVER tells his secrets!” Pretty much left me with my mouth hanging open there…
I then asked him what bothers him the most about the holiday, and here it is- ‘the motherload!’ Santa’s most ‘NOT LIKED THING’ about Christmas!