I really need to study this. It’s become a constant through out my life, so much so, that I know if I mention it to bystanders, they’ll think it’s ME! It’s NOT! …
There IS Abuse of 17 year old boys. UPDATE
Even though our kids are Big, in fact bigger than Us… they are still at risk of being abused.
Here’s what our family has been dealing with for the last 4 years. Not mentioning names, there’s no need, but our son has been the starting keeper for the Varsity team for the last 3 1/2 years. The coach plays headgames with all the starters… not just my son. Has for years. If your child earns the reward of being a starter on a team, he should feel confident in owning that position, but to be fair to the coach, it’s also his to lose. Make sense?
My kid, has been this coaches ‘whipping boy’ for four years. I’m not saying my kid is perfect! TRUST me. I will say, he learns from his mistakes, he’s respectful to adults, and he’s been the starting keeper for all his club teams as well, including the number one NY Academy team and still is! Even with all these attributes, this coach has battered him emotionally, blaming every goal on him, refusing to slap his hand when he comes off the field, in fact, he wasn’t told he was Captain, until the beginning of a game when the refs called for the Captains. This coach reluctantly pushed my son in. After the game he still wouldn’t let my son know, if that was a permanent position or not, etc, etc. Three weeks ago, my son spritzed a bit of water on the back of the coaches legs, as a bit of a prank, while sitting on the bench and this coach turned around and slapped him hard across the face. Do they still do this, in this day and age? I’ve even recently found out, that last year, he used one of our kids as a regular ‘punching bag.’ This may have been ok, 20 years ago… but now??
We let it go. Our son asked us to. I did mention it to the assistant coach, and he made light of it, saying, this coach had done all kinds of crazy things, when HE was his player in the past! I bit my tongue, and watched as the team beat the national number one team in the country, and continued on to become the first place winners in their league.
As this happened, right before playoffs are to begin, the coach pulled my kid out. No reason. Just did it. This, …after my son had been an integral part of getting them to where they are today.
I have now been forced to report these actions to not only the principal, but the superintendent has been informed of the fact that my kid was slapped. This coach has ruined so many boys lives. We’ve seen it with our own eyes, and we always prayed it would never happen to ours.
We are guilty of not stepping up to the plate earlier on, when we saw him do it to others, and now our friends, with kids on that team have not stepped up to the plate for us. They’re all in fear for their own kids, understandably so… but it still hurts.
This coach not only robbed my son, of his final days in HS soccer, he robbed us. All the years of watching through peaked fingers, on the sidelines, running his shorts to school because ‘he forgot’, clapping for his friends when they made a great goal, watching with pride as other parents cheered for mine… it’s all been stripped away, by this vendictive man.
Tomorrow’s the second playoff game, and my son, the starting keeper has to sit on the bench after putting up with all this crap for 4 years. The thing is, he still talks the game to the players from that bench as the keeper should. He cheers for them, and he tears.
I’m devastated. When your kid hurts, you hurt worse.
IT’S NOW A MONTH LATER:
Not to rehash this… but after all was said and done- we want you to understand as PARENTS, and as KIDS that play Sports, or Dance- you CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE, if you stand up together. These coaches and instructors should have your child’s BEST INTEREST at heart, NOT their own.
Thank you for your support on this matter.
Many came forward. It still brings tears to my eyes.
THE COACH HAS BEEN FIRED.
There were FOUR heroes in this story.
1. The Principal- He believed in us. He held our hands through this.
2. The Attorney for the school district. He also believed in what was right and he persevered.
3. Our Legal Advisor. He not only saw what was legally correct, he knew what was morally -incorrect.
3. My SON. He stood on the sidelines of that last game, cheering his team on, and turning to the crowd and getting them hyped up too, for the benefit of his team members.
STAND UP- if what you see, is WRONG. We’ll all be right here to hold your hand too.