Let’s Talk about my GARAGE SALE. OMG.

Day ONE: We have a huge dumpster, that we’ve been tossing BIG stuff into, in preparation of the move.  My husband threw out, by accident, a bag of oversized ornaments into the dumpster.

An old woman comes to our house sale, out of the corner of her eye, she sees the ornaments and walks over to the dumpster and tries to climb IN. I’m running after her, and telling her, “you can’t go in there!” She doesn’t listen, starts climbing up a garbage pile to get to the ornaments!  I finally stop her, as she looks at me with indignation, I get the bag, and tell her, “you can have each one for $1.00.  We walk back over to the main table, I catch my breath, move on to someone else, and hear her argue with my daughter who’s manning the money, “WHY would she charge me? They were GARBAGE!”  I later found out, she was in my house, looking in my closets and cabinets, while the girls were showing people our furniture!  That’s just DAY ONE!

Day TWO: We have advertised 9AM to 4PM.  At 8 this morning, the dogs are going crazy, I’m dressed only in man’s t-shirt-hair up- no makeup, no shoes, no NOTHIN’ and some woman is standing outside my front door.  I crack open the door, see her, step out- as I am- and say, “I’m so sorry but the dogs are a bit nutty, and as you can see I’m not dressed, and you’re too early.”  She says, “It’s gonna’ rain.”  I LOOK UP! Like-… THIS is her answer?? I say, “SO??” She then asks if I have any pocketbooks.  At that point, I shut the door.

Another episode today- man and woman buy a bunch of outdoor stuff from us, including a hammock stand.  Her husband, and mine spend a good 20 minutes trying to take the stand apart. Hammers banging, sweating, pulling… she and I are on the side watching.  I say to her, “WHY do they need to take it apart, if you have a pick up truck?” She says, “cause they’re a couple a’ idiots!”  I burst out laughing! Haha!  She says to me, “my husband is such an ass- but he knows how to FIX things, so I keep my mouth shut for most things.” 

I found it amazing that two women who have never met, can share secrets in a matter of 5 minutes of knowing each other, … and have it make TOTAL SENSE. 

Still have DAY THREE tomorrow- which I will not be here for- THANK GOD- I’m on the air! Fresh 102.7 Lord have mercy on my soul.  I’m assuming I’ll have  at least a million texts, saying “MOM- how much is THIS?” Or texts saying, “Mom, Dad’s SCREAMING for NOTHING.”  Should make for a great shift. (Just kidding, Jim)

Let me end with what I should have BEGUN with: Thursday night, while driving around with my  husband, a hammer, nails, and signs I’d made- after hanging them all up, he says, “I hate ta tell ya’ this, but I never saw anyone else with a sign up saying “Garage sale on FRIDAY.”  I just smiled…because I knew I had a doctor’s appt Friday morning at 8am, and I had to go to the Post office and the Middle School,- pre-sale! 

Friday after the doctor on my way to the Post Office, I called him to make sure all was ‘ok.’  It was 9am and he was in a PANICK! “Ya’ gotta’ get home, there’s at least a MILLION people here, and I don’t know what ta tell them!” 

Sometimes it’s better, to keep quiet, smile, and let them dig their own grave, …don’t ya think?  Women Rule. 😉